About Chapter 10 - October Conclusion & November Resolution 2018
ABOUT CHAPTER 10
October
October was not much better than September
October was not much better than September
October was filled with all the lovely things anxiety and depression brings
October was quite stressful and mentally really challenging
One of the worst things of having to deal with depression and anxiety is the hard hard struggle when you want to recover from a set back or something challenging in your everyday life.
Even the smallest things can be the biggest mountains in your way and I hate that so much because there is a huge part of me that doesn´t understand and finds it frustrating...I´m fighting with and against myself and that drains me from all my energy and leaves me with no power to fight against possible new challenges. Its a devils circle and it so so so hard to break it.
When I think back when it was July and August and I felt so good, strong and happy and I want that back so much! And that is where I want to be again as soon as possible and that´s good on the one hand but so not helpful on the other because forcing things never works with a depressed mind.
One thing I learned again tho is that you really have to talk about it - just do it - it helps so much and saves yourself and your relationships - it really does.
I know it´s one of the hardest things and I feel so stupid when I just don´t know whats wrong because when you struggle with depression, you very often just don´t know whats wrong or its the teeny tiniest thing and very often I just think "that makes no sense why am I upset about this...just deal with it" but just dealing can be the hardest thing and believe me people around you will realise something is wrong and they can not deal with it if they don´t know! I´m not talking about dealing with you and trying to help you...I know that is hardly ever helpful...but they´ll understand and leave you be and give you all the time you need and trust me that´s so much easier than fighting all the time and having to vindicate yourself which is an endless story because no one will ever understand...
Okay that said lets see what happened in October
I had some lovely evenings right at the beginning. My mums birthday was on the 2nd and we went and had delicious grecian food and a wonderful time. The day after my bf and me visited a friend and colleague and her girlfriend and we have been at the movies and watched part 2 of Incredibles and had delicious burgers at Hans im Glück - such a nice restaurant!
A few days later I went out with three of my oldest and best friend, all of us in town at the same time - that needed a huge catch up ^^ we met again two weeks later btw
Oh and also a huge change in October - I started working with a Personal Trainer and I am so excited about that - cant wait to see all the changes and I just really want to feel good in my body! All the sore muscles all the time - sooooooo worth it :)
Otherwise October was almost boring ;) Not a lot happened and I loved it ^^ So many weekends without plans - one of the best cures for a troubled mind - spent time with your loved ones and you are on the best ways to feel better soon! Oh, and also...I cut down sugar this last month and tried my best to not eat any refined sugar at all, mainly just so see how that would change how I feel...didn´t feel that much of a difference to be honest... ;)
One of the worst things of having to deal with depression and anxiety is the hard hard struggle when you want to recover from a set back or something challenging in your everyday life.
Even the smallest things can be the biggest mountains in your way and I hate that so much because there is a huge part of me that doesn´t understand and finds it frustrating...I´m fighting with and against myself and that drains me from all my energy and leaves me with no power to fight against possible new challenges. Its a devils circle and it so so so hard to break it.
When I think back when it was July and August and I felt so good, strong and happy and I want that back so much! And that is where I want to be again as soon as possible and that´s good on the one hand but so not helpful on the other because forcing things never works with a depressed mind.
One thing I learned again tho is that you really have to talk about it - just do it - it helps so much and saves yourself and your relationships - it really does.
I know it´s one of the hardest things and I feel so stupid when I just don´t know whats wrong because when you struggle with depression, you very often just don´t know whats wrong or its the teeny tiniest thing and very often I just think "that makes no sense why am I upset about this...just deal with it" but just dealing can be the hardest thing and believe me people around you will realise something is wrong and they can not deal with it if they don´t know! I´m not talking about dealing with you and trying to help you...I know that is hardly ever helpful...but they´ll understand and leave you be and give you all the time you need and trust me that´s so much easier than fighting all the time and having to vindicate yourself which is an endless story because no one will ever understand...
Okay that said lets see what happened in October
I had some lovely evenings right at the beginning. My mums birthday was on the 2nd and we went and had delicious grecian food and a wonderful time. The day after my bf and me visited a friend and colleague and her girlfriend and we have been at the movies and watched part 2 of Incredibles and had delicious burgers at Hans im Glück - such a nice restaurant!
A few days later I went out with three of my oldest and best friend, all of us in town at the same time - that needed a huge catch up ^^ we met again two weeks later btw
Oh and also a huge change in October - I started working with a Personal Trainer and I am so excited about that - cant wait to see all the changes and I just really want to feel good in my body! All the sore muscles all the time - sooooooo worth it :)
Otherwise October was almost boring ;) Not a lot happened and I loved it ^^ So many weekends without plans - one of the best cures for a troubled mind - spent time with your loved ones and you are on the best ways to feel better soon! Oh, and also...I cut down sugar this last month and tried my best to not eat any refined sugar at all, mainly just so see how that would change how I feel...didn´t feel that much of a difference to be honest... ;)
- calm down and relax, try to get back to being as mentally stable as in August
- reduce the insane pressure on myself
- edit edit edit...I´m already behind...try to get back on track
- spend less money...only for necessities
- work out to finally feel good in my body and more confident
Well, okay I´m not having the worst feeling so far ;)
Well I am not back at where I´ve been in August and I don´t think that I made the biggest progress in betting or being better but and that´s a huge but I kept my chin up and you have no idea how important that is ;)
Pressure...well as the perfectionist I am its hard sometimes to reduce pressure but I think I did quite well...yes my blog and youtube channel suffered quite a lot but it was not a bad thing at all so I am quite pleased with that point.
Point to kind of erased goal three there...editing is currently my least favourite thing to do and I hope that´ll change again very soon so I´ll get all those videos I already filmed up and running.
Money...well lets not talk about that ;)
Like I already said working out saw a huge change in my weekly routine since I am now having a personal training session once a week and I am so happy about it, but I´d still like to do more in that department.
So all in all not the worst month when it comes to reaching my goals and resolutions :)
- reduce the insane pressure on myself
- edit edit edit...I´m already behind...try to get back on track
- spend less money...only for necessities
- work out to finally feel good in my body and more confident
Well, okay I´m not having the worst feeling so far ;)
Well I am not back at where I´ve been in August and I don´t think that I made the biggest progress in betting or being better but and that´s a huge but I kept my chin up and you have no idea how important that is ;)
Pressure...well as the perfectionist I am its hard sometimes to reduce pressure but I think I did quite well...yes my blog and youtube channel suffered quite a lot but it was not a bad thing at all so I am quite pleased with that point.
Point to kind of erased goal three there...editing is currently my least favourite thing to do and I hope that´ll change again very soon so I´ll get all those videos I already filmed up and running.
Money...well lets not talk about that ;)
Like I already said working out saw a huge change in my weekly routine since I am now having a personal training session once a week and I am so happy about it, but I´d still like to do more in that department.
So all in all not the worst month when it comes to reaching my goals and resolutions :)
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NOVEMBER RESOLUTIONS
- continue getting better and reducing pressure
- cut down spending money even more and save for the new flat
- work out two to three times a week
- drink more water - a lot more ;)
- make plans for 2019
- cut down spending money even more and save for the new flat
- work out two to three times a week
- drink more water - a lot more ;)
- make plans for 2019
I kind of stick to the basics do I...probably not the most interesting thing is it ;)
But that is just what I feel like is necessary atm.
But that is just what I feel like is necessary atm.
And with that October is already over and with that 2018 is almost at its end...its always so quickly as soon as it is November - just like that is Christmas, yay, and with that New Years and baam its 2019;)
I hope you all had a wonderful golden October and a successful and happy time!
With lots of love
♥♥♥
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