About Chapter 2 - February Conclusion & March Resolution 2018
ABOUT CHAPTER 2
February
February was alright.
February was nothing hugely special in general.
February was calm and nice and a bit unsettling sometimes and really really sad towards the end :)
Looking back February was kind of unsettling in some aspects but calm and lovely in most others ;)
I cant actually believe that I am writing the second of this posts already how fast can time fly?
I cant actually believe that I am writing the second of this posts already how fast can time fly?
I´m still feeling comfy in my new job, even tho I had many hard moments when it comes to managing anxiety and depression together with the new challenges a new job always brings.
After over two months in the job of cause you gain more and more responsibility and since its one of my biggest triggers for anxiety...making wrong decisions or going wrong in any way it also got a bit harder to manage feelings and fears. But I also have to say that I am proud about how I managed everything and that I did many things which done wrong might bring some unpleasant consequences...but everything was right and well done and I´m quite proud about that ^^ and that brought me a lot more self-confidence ^^ Yay!
Besides being a bit stronger and better in making decisions and not constantly being afraid of everything I also lost the ability to just sleep again...
I struggled with ...well... not sleeping for over a year, try and keep going normally when you have to deal with weeks and months with only sleeping when your body is to tired to do anything anymore.
It was so much better right after I got the new job...of cause because the Insomnia was a symptom of the depression and the horrible future prospects I had were a huge part of where the depression came from. Well after I got the job I instantly slept like a baby and it was the best best best thing ever ;)
I fell asleep quickly and slept through most nights..so nice...be happy if that is normal for you!
Well that´s gone. And that´s sad. I mean I fall asleep quickly most nights but I haven´t slept through a night in weeks...I hope that that will change asap again, I´m just so afraid that it might change back to the way it was and I´d really like to be able to sleep without medication!
The sadest thing in this last month and definitely also a reason why I selpt that bad is that I lost my beloved grandma. She just was the loveliest person ever, who always made you smile and gave us a good feeling , who was crazy and childish and always good for a little prank ;)
She never really was old in her mind she always remained a young woman with the most loving heart the funniest thoughts and the most caring intentions. You´ll leave a huge hole in our lives gran and we miss you horribly! But its good this way, only bad things would have awaited you and this way you could just fall asleep calm and without struggle. I love you loads gran have a great time where ever you are and stay the incredible person you were!
Besides all that everything was lovely.
My boyfriend and I are planning to move in together very soon and we actually already bought a few new furniture pieces!
Yay I love doing that so much...I proooobably chose the right profession, did I ;) cant wait until everything comes together and my "vision" of the flat comes to life ^^
After over two months in the job of cause you gain more and more responsibility and since its one of my biggest triggers for anxiety...making wrong decisions or going wrong in any way it also got a bit harder to manage feelings and fears. But I also have to say that I am proud about how I managed everything and that I did many things which done wrong might bring some unpleasant consequences...but everything was right and well done and I´m quite proud about that ^^ and that brought me a lot more self-confidence ^^ Yay!
Besides being a bit stronger and better in making decisions and not constantly being afraid of everything I also lost the ability to just sleep again...
I struggled with ...well... not sleeping for over a year, try and keep going normally when you have to deal with weeks and months with only sleeping when your body is to tired to do anything anymore.
It was so much better right after I got the new job...of cause because the Insomnia was a symptom of the depression and the horrible future prospects I had were a huge part of where the depression came from. Well after I got the job I instantly slept like a baby and it was the best best best thing ever ;)
I fell asleep quickly and slept through most nights..so nice...be happy if that is normal for you!
Well that´s gone. And that´s sad. I mean I fall asleep quickly most nights but I haven´t slept through a night in weeks...I hope that that will change asap again, I´m just so afraid that it might change back to the way it was and I´d really like to be able to sleep without medication!
The sadest thing in this last month and definitely also a reason why I selpt that bad is that I lost my beloved grandma. She just was the loveliest person ever, who always made you smile and gave us a good feeling , who was crazy and childish and always good for a little prank ;)
She never really was old in her mind she always remained a young woman with the most loving heart the funniest thoughts and the most caring intentions. You´ll leave a huge hole in our lives gran and we miss you horribly! But its good this way, only bad things would have awaited you and this way you could just fall asleep calm and without struggle. I love you loads gran have a great time where ever you are and stay the incredible person you were!
Besides all that everything was lovely.
My boyfriend and I are planning to move in together very soon and we actually already bought a few new furniture pieces!
Yay I love doing that so much...I proooobably chose the right profession, did I ;) cant wait until everything comes together and my "vision" of the flat comes to life ^^
I can see a lovely future now for us and I cant wait to see what it brings and I hope that it´ll be only the good stuff and if not only...than only easy to handle things ;)
Well lets see...my February Resolutions were:
- Finally make all the changes I´m planning for my Blog and youtube channel
- Stay ahead of filming and blogging - being on my time schedule
- stay self confident and strong
- stay productive and creative
- save more of the money I earn now ^^ (I mean who does not spend all the money of the first pay check ^^ hahaha)
- move out and in with my bf and buy all the amazing interiour stuff I already found ;)
Weeell...I failed a bit with some of these goals...aaaa bit...noooot the very best start in 2018 isn´t it ;)
Well...I did not moove out but that´s not actually my fault...important thing here ;)
It all depends atm on a internet thing and there is a lot which is not resolved yet and there is a guy who should have checked on that already but he did not have time yet to come over and so on ;) So that´s a bit postponed atm ;) But we both made first moves and we bought a bit of furniture and made plans so its definitely going to happen sooner or later :)
I was very good with saving more money tho...not as good as I wanted to be but quite good...I ordered less than I wanted to so that´s good ;)
When it comes to being productive and creative I have to admit that I had many days which have neither been productive nor creative...same for the - Stay ahead of filming and blogging - being on my time schedule-thing ;)
and some of the things which happened in february just were more important...
I missed some days when it comes to uploading...well I did upload just a bit too late some weeks :(
so sorry about that but I was good with uploading blog posts, wasn´t I ;)
Also the planned changes for my Blog and other social media pages aaaaare going to come very soon you can be sure about that ;)
Weeell...I failed a bit with some of these goals...aaaa bit...noooot the very best start in 2018 isn´t it ;)
Well...I did not moove out but that´s not actually my fault...important thing here ;)
It all depends atm on a internet thing and there is a lot which is not resolved yet and there is a guy who should have checked on that already but he did not have time yet to come over and so on ;) So that´s a bit postponed atm ;) But we both made first moves and we bought a bit of furniture and made plans so its definitely going to happen sooner or later :)
I was very good with saving more money tho...not as good as I wanted to be but quite good...I ordered less than I wanted to so that´s good ;)
When it comes to being productive and creative I have to admit that I had many days which have neither been productive nor creative...same for the - Stay ahead of filming and blogging - being on my time schedule-thing ;)
and some of the things which happened in february just were more important...
I missed some days when it comes to uploading...well I did upload just a bit too late some weeks :(
so sorry about that but I was good with uploading blog posts, wasn´t I ;)
Also the planned changes for my Blog and other social media pages aaaaare going to come very soon you can be sure about that ;)
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MARCH RESOLUTION
- just do things...no contemplating and no postponing
- keep on staying ahead of filming and blogging - being on my time schedule and stay on top of work
- try and not be downed by any bad mood swings - keep the head high and just do it
- go out more often ^^
- continue to cut down on my spending
- invest a bit more time in skin and hair care...do more masks and be more careful...same for nails ;)
- and last but not least and such a basic thing...drink more!!!
and that´s it ;)
Ya I know some repetitions from last month and some things which just hopefully stay the way they are now... Lets see how I´m doing in march ^^
Ya I know some repetitions from last month and some things which just hopefully stay the way they are now... Lets see how I´m doing in march ^^
How are you doing? Did you have a nice February?
Anything special to talk about?
Anything special to talk about?
With lots of love
♥♥♥
Verena
Way cool! Some very valid points! I appreciate you penning this post and the rest of the site is really good.
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