About Chapter 5 - May Conclusion & June Resolution 2018
ABOUT CHAPTER 5
May
May was...well May was ...
May was not a very good month
May was so challenging everyday:)
Looking back May was a really rough month without a particular reason. I just think that there were so many bad feelings and fears and little bad things inside me which I never let out because I did not want to and because I just wanted them to go away just to have many many really bad days in which everything just became to much to handle. When you suffer from depression in combination with anxiety tho this is really not the best way to do it...really really not...because when you are so heftily overwhelmed with bad feelings and fear is so hard get back to a better self, a happier and more positive state of thinking...and I am still not back to the better side...
I really try to not try to hard to get better but I also realised that I just have to give it a bit of time...pushing to hard won´t get me anywhere...even tho is really hard because I´m such a perfectionist and I just always want to make it right and make everyone happy...
and that´s already everything I can think of about may atm...quite sad isn´t it and that in may which I looove so much. Everything just was really hard in this last month.
The best think about may definitely was that there were so many bank holidays and with that only one week with five working days ^^
The moving planes got quite defined until the owners of a perfect little apartment we were so close to getting desided to rent it to people the know...another downer this last month and since then there were no other apartments at all availlable.
But we are not giving up on fining a nice little place!
I really try to not try to hard to get better but I also realised that I just have to give it a bit of time...pushing to hard won´t get me anywhere...even tho is really hard because I´m such a perfectionist and I just always want to make it right and make everyone happy...
and that´s already everything I can think of about may atm...quite sad isn´t it and that in may which I looove so much. Everything just was really hard in this last month.
The best think about may definitely was that there were so many bank holidays and with that only one week with five working days ^^
The moving planes got quite defined until the owners of a perfect little apartment we were so close to getting desided to rent it to people the know...another downer this last month and since then there were no other apartments at all availlable.
But we are not giving up on fining a nice little place!
And now my May Resolutions:
Well about no.1...nothing is harder when in an deep deep depressed hole than getting things done...might seem or sound funny but those of you who share my illness will understand so well...I am actually proud I got up every day and went out and met people and did things other than laying in bed or on the sofa all the time! Same thing for the second resolution...and for the third one even tho I have been on lovely walk often and even went running with my boyfriend several times. and the rest of id ya well...lets just say I had waaay better months than may!
- just do things...no contemplating and no postponing...again
- be strong and just keep my chin up
- go out and keep on planning weekend trips
- kick ass with blog and youtube
- fight against that endless tiredness and not-motivation
- be strong and just keep my chin up
- go out and keep on planning weekend trips
- kick ass with blog and youtube
- fight against that endless tiredness and not-motivation
Well about no.1...nothing is harder when in an deep deep depressed hole than getting things done...might seem or sound funny but those of you who share my illness will understand so well...I am actually proud I got up every day and went out and met people and did things other than laying in bed or on the sofa all the time! Same thing for the second resolution...and for the third one even tho I have been on lovely walk often and even went running with my boyfriend several times. and the rest of id ya well...lets just say I had waaay better months than may!
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- just do things...no contemplating and no postponing...again again
- head high - expectations low
- continue eating healthy (quit the cookies ^^) and working out everyday
- take your time and just get better...no pushing all the time...just allow yourself some time to recover
Everything to the effect that I will be better by the end of next month...at the latest ^^
I hope that you don´t think "what a very uninspiring post today"...."ya well she only blahs about blah stuff and that she´s unwell"...I´m really concerned about that and I really don´t like to talk about my mental health too often...for some reason...Well I hope its alright for you :)
I hope that you don´t think "what a very uninspiring post today"...."ya well she only blahs about blah stuff and that she´s unwell"...I´m really concerned about that and I really don´t like to talk about my mental health too often...for some reason...Well I hope its alright for you :)
And how are you doing? Anything special to talk about ;)
I really hope you had a wonderful May and I wish you a lovely new June!
I really hope you had a wonderful May and I wish you a lovely new June!
With lots of love
♥♥♥
Ella
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