Chapter 8 of 12 - August Conclusion & September Resolution 2017

ABOUT CHAPTER 8

August

How have you been - let me think about that for a moment

August was hard.
August pretended to be amazing for many moments but it was hard.

August had its fun moments which were amazing.

August challenged me a lot.

August bright back the doubt I am fighting so hard against.

August maybe made me stronger, but it also took a lot of my energy.
Many little amazing things happened which gave and are giving me strength...especially at this point in which I am sitting here thinking about this last month.
There were a few things which gave me hope during this month...on many different life-wise and future-wise aspects.
Unfortunately some did not really work out the way I hoped or wished them to work out.
That left me feeling really depressed, sad and troubled.
Am I doing the right thing? What am I supposed to do next? and Am I soing the right things?
Should I just g on studing, should I keep on looking for a job in the field I studied four years for, or should I undersand my struggle as a sign that its the wrong thing for me to do for the rest of my life?
How should we know what the right thing is?

I am very thankful to have my friends and family.
Everything is amazing relationsshipwise and I am so incredibly happy about that. Thats one thing that keeps me up and running. The support, the understanding and the positive energy!
The awareness that everything can work out even if it takes a lot of time...maybe more than you might be able to handle, but in the end it sooo totally worth it!
What would I do all alone? A question which kind of makes me feel afraid...I want to be able to do anything and everything alone too...is that crazy?

A lot of things happened in august which made me really anxious...I mean the battle was real.
Now looking back I feel proud and happy. Proud that I stayed strong and so happy that I am were I am now.

One of the most exciting and challenging things in august was the new summer project with opera incognita. I did not blog about it in particular this year...and there is not even a real reason ^^ I ust totally forgot about it ;)
This year we are doing "Carmen" which is a pretty unusual choice for this group since we usually do very unknown and infamous operas! But you might have guessed it we do is completely different ;)
The shows are in an old combined heat and power station. Its an impressive huge and sparse room with a lot of steel and concrete. Its amazing ^^
We play the opera backwards and we are all so totally into it! We collaborate with a group of refugees and its a pretty rough and very honest staging.
Now I said it was challenging for me...well besides all the fun you should know that these projects are always really intense and super exhausting. We rehearse every day when its close to the premier and thats really really tough. Now if you are really sensitive when it comes to stress and when it comes to having many appointments and having to leave the house very often this is a very challenging situation. Leaving the house alone can get quite hard for me plus the fact that you cant just leave when you feel the need to - this makes a project like this really hard - but I dealt with all my anxieties I fought my fears and that is why I am so suuper proud of myself and everything I accomplished ^^

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Ok lets see my resolutions for August were:

- stay stong and productive
- beat the negativity and the endless doubts and just say yes
- try your best to be productive and beat the endless sleepyness

-make more of every single day and try to get out of the house more often (a goal which seems to be part every month)
-talk to people when ever you feel troubled

I think I might have done pretty well ^^
I was strong and pulled trough the opera project...I was not really productive I have to admit...
I was so tired all the time - its sooo frustrating...
I had some amaaaazing days with my boyfriend as we spent his holidays together and we grew so much more together! I love thinking about that super lovely and relaxed time ^^
I am still a bit sad that we did not travel during that time but to be honest I enjoyed our time together so much I dont even care where we spent it ;) Yes it would have been amazing to go out and train not be be afraid whilst being aways but...ya well ;)
I  have to admit that I was bad bad bad when it comes to uploading videos...
I treated my youtube channel pretty stepmotherly...but I hope that´ll be better soon =)

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September

And with you my favourite time of the year begins ^^

I just LOVE autumn so much I cant even tell you how much

Septemper ... yay :)
This month is a bit like a new start throughout the year ;) Might be a remnant from the time in school.
But its actually a great month to restart thinking about the goals you set for the year and the things you wanted to do and maybe add something new!
Maybe you reached your goals by now and need some new ones or maybe the old ones are outdated or you realised that you have different goals and dreams now. Time flies so quickly and everything changed constantly - nothing bad about that ^^

SEPTEMBER RESOLUTIONS

- do this years second declutter and deep clean session
- try to get back into the routine
- be productive and stay in the best mood possible
- do more with friends
- stay positive and keep on just doing things

Ya well I think thats it...all just quite the same but I really want to do it ^^

Again these resolutions might not seem to be much for many but it is for me

How are you doing?
How was your August and what is waiting for you in September?

With lots of love

♥♥♥

Verena